Ebort? Ebort. There’s a guy named Ebort in this world, and he reviews movies. Good to know.

I suppose I shouldn’t make fun. Names do get pretty varied, and there well could be some guy named Ebort reviewing movies in our world. You don’t know! Unless you do. If you do, you should tell me, and then I’d know, too. And then we’d know together. It would be just our little secret. Our Ebort secret.

Anyway, YES, Sarah, the bionic lesbians would have been better. We’ve already decided it was an Oscar worthy masterpiece, and even if that wasn’t the case, its competition was a movie about an aggressive frozen waffle. Even if waffles were somehow threatening (as they most certainly are), it was a FROZEN waffle! A thawed waffle would be way more scary.

Commentary added August 12, 2014