HOW IS THIS A PLAN
I don't have an answer to this. I'm not even going to suggest going back in time to ask past me for an answer, because he knew this was horribly flawed, too. HE KNEW. He just foolheartedly went ahead with it anyway because that was the plan.
Actually, wait. This plan wasn't a last second desperate decision. Past-past me knew Elliot was going to wind up a kitty wearing Tedd's glasses, so it must have made sense to me at one point or another. Huh. Alright, someone send a message to past me to send a message to his past me telling past-past me to get back to me in regard to how Elliot carrying Tedd would be faster even with kitty strength.
I suspect past-past me's answer would be "he's just that strong". You so silly, past-past me.
Commentary added October 29, 2014